Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,”Ticket, please.”

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Irishmen see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.

So after the conference, the Irishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Scots don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed Irishman.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers a Scot.

When they board the train the three Irishmen cram into a bathroom and the three Scots cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Scots leaves his bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Irishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

“I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total,” says the Genie.

The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.”

So, with a blink of the Genie’s eye “poof” the oceans were teeming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity.”

Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye “poof” there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”

The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out.”

The Irishman says, “Please Fill it up with water.”